Summer 2019. Wow. Little did I know how the Father would choose to love me this summer in this dream job as workstaff manager. I got to be behind the scenes delegating, decision making, and determining spiritually, emotionally, and professionally what was best for my sweet workstaff. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Simultaneously, I was walking through premarital counseling with the directors and assistant directors as they poured so personally into mine and Ben’s lives. Things we learned in premarital counseling regarding integrity and having a space to deal with conflict were things not only helpful and stretching in my engaged relationship, but also with my family and community relationship with workstaff. I felt like I experienced what it felt like to walk through the thick of chaos to then learn how to better love and trust my workstaff family. Looking back, I can see how easy it was to listen to the lies of the accuser whispering, “Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you around. You are the worst at your job. You don’t even want to be here…” Those are such mean lies! It wasn’t until Mission Camp Macon when the Lord put some refreshing heart friends in front of me and the sweet speaker shared a passage from Zachariah referring to the enemy as the “accuser” that the Lord opened my eyes to the reality that the enemy was just being the enemy in my head accusing and criticizing. The Lord affirmed His placing of me in the position that He did and put people all along my journey this summer to build me up and spur me forward to faith and good deeds. Growth can be painful, but I experienced humility and freedom and grace upon grace. I learned about leadership and integrity and giving grace. I fall short sometimes, but I wasn’t made to not fall short (because of the Fall). However, I was and am made to rely on Jesus. May that be so always: that I rely on Jesus Christ.